You will only know if you read my Leiden life story #1

I do not know what holding me back from writing. I mean, having just graduated from the college itself already suggested that I have so much time on my hand. But, despite my current circumstance, I have yet done anything productive. Since I got home last March, I got very little time to be alone. I mean, for over one and a half years, I am so used to being alone, only talking to people when necessary, going out with friends when they asked to. 

When I lived in Leiden, I had my personal space. Even though I shared the apartment with two others (I was a tenant actually, renting a room from an old Indo couple), Opa, who just passed away last March, one week before my departure to Indonesia, and his wife, Tante, now living alone and is currently getting ready for moving out to den Haag. Anyway, getting back to my early point, I have been so indolent ever since I got here. Now that I was able to reunite with my family back to my mom's house, I was, of course, delighted. Nevertheless, when you hit a certain age, you realize that sometimes distance is required to keep yourself and your loved ones from unnecessary clashes. Peace is sometimes met when there is a constant space between family members. It does not mean that I do not love my family. On the contrary, I do love them very, very much. But, being an introvert in a house where personal space does not seem to exist is especially hard. When I first arrived home, it was only three people in the house hence four including me. A couple of days later, my sister gave birth to her second child, meaning they would stay with us for some time. But, for some reason, I do not want to spill, they have been staying with us ever since. I need to clarify this first, I love my niece so so much. She is absolutely the apple of my eyes. I was away when she was only four months. But, I would constantly talk to my sister on the phone and ask my sister to send my niece's videos. So, I pretty much witnessed my niece growing up, hence virtually. 

Having no private space, I think it is an inexcusable excuse from my side. I used everyone in my family to justify my indolent behaviour. I always said this in my head, if only I had my own space, I would be diligent than ever. However, now that I am slowly building my routine, having a fixed study space, then I only realized that I was indeed lazy. 

Before leaving the Netherlands, I had committed to myself that I would often write, one of which would include my experience during my study in the Netherlands. The truth is, I do not even know where to start my journey. If anyone ever read this update, it means I will already have made progress on my Leiden journey. I will only post this if I have written one of Leiden's stories.