Leiden Life Story Ep. 2 (December in the Netherlands)

I celebrated two Christmas in the Netherlands. While I am not celebrating it per se, it happens to be the season where I particularly harbour special admiration to. I could not stress enough how freaking in love I am with this sombre season where darkness seems to reign over lights. Many people find this season to be depressing and despairing. This is fathomable not only because the weather becoming freakingly harsh, but also the light or lack thereof is innately causing people to suffer from seasonal depression. While nights seem enduring, days persist with an image as if light has never existed. The hazy clouds hang low below the horizon creating an illusion of as if getting entrapped in some mystical world. It might sound like I romanticize this a little bit too much, but I find myself thriving among those darkest nights of December. 

December 2019 was the busiest month of the year for twofold reasons. First, the final project of the research seminar course "Sailing the Dutch Atlantic" was looming near. Hence, I was devoted most of my time to the writing of a 7500 words essay. Secondly, I was also gearing up to start my internship at KITLV. Although my internship won't start until January 2020, I was needed to do some preliminary tasks in National Archief in The Hague. 

The first twenty days of December has been unrelentingly packed with me working on the final project. I literally spent most days and nights in the central library (UB), working on the essay I found so obnoxiously difficult to decipher. Mind you but I was not accustomed to writing in English let alone had to write seventy-five hundred words. I felt frustrated with myself partly due to my finite knowledge that rendered me hopeless and incompetent. In my most vulnerable days, I would find myself taking refuge in Mosque not too far from UB. I kept telling myself these mantras, "Anisa, you have done your best it is okay to be in despair, so long as you keep going you are already the champion. You chose to be walking in this path, the least you can do is not to give up." I eventually submitted my essay two minutes before the deadline. Later, I found out many of my classmates failed to meet the deadline but the professor just let it slide because some were taking two research seminar courses. In my case, having had a consultation with the History program coordinator, she encouraged me to drop one course lest it feels too cumbersome for my own good. And I did. In hindsight, I could not imagine how would’ve I managed my time had I not done it.  

I still remember vividly how I spent Christmas Eve 2019. It was four days after I submitted my paper. I was asked to accompany Ibu Wati, an Indonesian working at the time as a fellow at KITLV to collect some sources in NA in The Hague. The journey to The Hague was about 10 minutes by train from Leiden Centraal. Nationaal Archief is located not too far away from the exit of The Hague Centraal. It takes about a three-minute walk to go there. If memory serves me right, the opening hour was until 6pm at the time. It still baffles me until now the fact that NA was still open late hour despite the fact the very next day was Christmas. What baffled me, even more, was the NA was still jammed by visitors. 

There was not much to do at the time besides having to take pictures of the archives. I might as well have done it with eyes closed (pun intended). I had Red Velvet's new release song Psycho on repeat the entire time I was there. I was making a count of how many pictures I could take in 3 minutes and 36 seconds. Unfortunately, my memory failed me. The only image I can remember was my right hand was weary from gripping my phone too long.

Once we finished our work, Ibu Wati asked me to join her in a dinner with friends. We were supposed to dine out at Hema. When we arrived the place was packed with families. So, we decided to go somewhere else. We eventually managed to make our reservation in a Chinese restaurant despite it being in its busiest period. I have been to The Hague several times since that day, but I cannot seem to remember which Chinese restaurant we dined in that evening. We went back to Leiden by car. Ibu Wati's friend drove us and dropped me first in my apartment. I thought I'd have a shitty evening. I do not do well with strangers much less have to cramp in small talk. My first Christmas Eve in the Netherlands turned out to be rather memorable. I remember I had a fun time talking with the grandkids of Ibu Wati's friend. Since they were a huge fan of Kpop we quite had something to talk about.

Christmas Eve 2020 wasn't any less exhilarating. Despite the fact our arrangement for dinner was rather impromptu, I had surprisingly a good evening. I went to my friend's apartment and had dinner together. I feel the need to introduce this small group of people in part because some of them will make constant appearances in subsequent episodes. There is a total of six people including me. It is quite a story of how I've become propelled into this group. Everything starts because of Yuan. It was the beginning of lockdown. University was shut down, the library was shut down. Basically, everything was shut down. My routine was all shattered. I was confined in my home of which left me with no one but Ibu Kos to talk with. So, Yuan basically started to ask me to hang out together. I had met Yuan sporadically on Campus before the novel Coronavirus engulfed the world. Later I found out from Yuan since I appeared to not have anyone to hang out with and likely the lockdown would make it worse for my mental well-being,  she kindly initiated occasional meetups. Ever since our first hang out, Yuan would ask me to go out and often times I would end up at her apartment. I'd say our friendship intensified when she moved to the new apartment. Moreover, since we got no more class and lockdown was extended until fall and winter 2020, we easily found comfort in each other's presence.  

Yuan shared the apartment with two other people. Mba Vany is a Chinese-Indonesia who also studied History at Leiden University. Her daughter, Sona was 13. I found the dynamic of this household is rather amusing. While the age gap was not that jarring, they seemed to get along really well. In fact, they were so fun to hang out with. They had tons of games to play in. Yuan, the cook of the group always made fancy Indonesian food. Two other friends, Ma is Chinese and Toh is Thai. They are housemates and lived in The Hague. Before my addition to the group, they already were really close. And what surprise me, I and Ma actually were in the same class. We never talked in class obviously, I was super shy and reluctant to make friends with anybody else.

Christmas Eve 2020
From left to right: Sona, Yuan, Mba Vany, Anisa, Toh, Ma

    

Truth be told, we did not do anything striking during Christmas Eve besides having a simple dinner. Given that both Yuan, Mba Vany and Toh were still working on their thesis which was due on New Year Eve, it was only sensible to forego our plan. But we promised to go all out for New Year Eve instead. 

On the last day of 2020, we had dinner at Yuan and Mba Vany's place. Since I never had a sleepover at their place before, I thought this time would be a good idea to have one. I was not against doing a sleepover per se. But, I do not like leaving Ibu Kos and Opa alone. Plus, I never got a chance to properly ask Ibu Kos. I do not want to stay at a friend's house without giving Ibu Kos a heads-up before. After pocketing Ibu Kos permission, off I went to Yuan's apartment. Our night was preceded by a dinner of a vast array of food. I came rather early around six in the evening to help Yuan in the kitchen. Judging by my cooking ability, I mostly acted out as a cook assistant, doing whatever is being told for me. 

Exchanging gifts

Once we finished our dinner, we went out for a walk around Leiden. The air was chill. Most people were confined in their apartments for the country was under lockdown. When we were out we would hear sirens of police cars patrolling the city, checking whether the citizens adhere to the corona measures. From a distance, we would also hear the sound of fireworks going off. When we came back to the apartment, it was slightly before midnight. A few minutes more, the calendar would turn into January one. We raised our glass, celebrating our achievement for surviving 2020, despite all odds.

I would not go much deeper into how I celebrate New Year Eve 2020. I was in Paris with Ibu Wati and three other Indonesians.  It was a short vacation. Since I just tagged along with them, I could not remember much of what I did there. We went to every single tourist trap in Paris, from Louvre to Eiffel Tower. What I remember the most from our short escapade is that we walked, a lot. Like literally a lot. 

Eiffel Tower taken by Anisa

That dinner and little gathering we had on the last of 2020 reminds me that we were never alone and never will be. It's become a constant reminder that despite the world having gone all wretched, we would still find comfort and affinity in camaraderie. For the most part of the world, 2020 was every adjective of impossible. Yet, despite all the hardship that most humans on earth shared, you and I had survived 2020.